Changes we are making this cycle

I am trying so hard to stay positive this cycle. Right now I am feeling better about our chances and I hope this feeling lasts the entire month. Last month I had an emotional slump very early in my cycle. I think there was something in me that knew it wasn't a going to be our baby. My hormones were all out of whack. This month though I my spirits are higher.

I have been trying to meditate every night. I think me being more relax will help our chances

Also, Kevin and I are going to have more romantic evenings. I have been afraid of this trying to conceive journey becoming more about the science of having a baby rather that the love and fun of having a baby.

Lastly, I am making sure I drink more water. I was so concerned with limiting water for the 4 hours before I tested, whether it was OPKs or pregnancy tests, that I think it effected the way my body works.

Hopefully these chances will help us out this month. I so want to be pregnant!!

On to the next one....

The witch showed her face today... so this cycle is over and I'm not pregnant yet. I'm upset but I'm ready to start focusing on this cycle. We are hoping for better luck this month.

This is horrible

Maybe I ovulated late since the day I was supposed to be ovulating we had all the drama with Breckin at the GI doctor. I don't know... I shouldn't get my hopes up. I am still cramping... badly at times and mostly in the last 3 or 4 days. These are not cramps that I normally get around my period. I have also had slight waves of nausea.

I'm not testing again until Monday and I am 100% expecting another negative test. I just wish my body would stop playing these games with me and would let me just feel normal if I'm not pregnant. And if my period is going to show I wish it would just do it now so I can start trying again. This is torture. I can't even describe how I feel...

12 Days Past Ovulation

Another negative pregnancy test.

This doesn't look good for a chances this month. I tested first thing this morning... negative. Then I tested again this afternoon because "something was telling me to"... negative.

I'm assuming this is it for us this month. I am going to start looking forward to the next cycle. Hopefully we will have better luck... I am trying to be positive but I scared this is the start to a bad trend.

These tricks are not funny....

Well, I guess my body was tricking me... I took a pregnancy test yesterday and it came up negative. I was only 10 days past ovulation, which is still early, but I can't help but feel that I would have had SOME sort of positive yesterday if I was actually pregnant. I plan to test again tomorrow first thing in the morning (12 DPO). If it's negative, which I suspect it will be, I wont test anymore this cycle. This cycle is due to end Sunday or Monday.

I'm feeling really beat up... this has been a rough month.

Soooooo

So, either I am pregnant or my brain is playing some MAJOR tricks on me. I keep thinking "I don't even need a test. I already know I'm pregnant." Oh my, I really hope I'm not setting myself up for a HUGE disappointment.

My lower abdomen has been cramping the last few days and today the cramps have gotten pretty sharp. My abdomen has also been very sensitive. I am very uncomfortable with my pants' button against my stomach. I remember this from when I was pregnant with Breckin. I was using my bella band by around 9 weeks because pants were so uncomfortable. The question is... do I normally feel this way at this point in my cycle and I am just more sensitive to it now?

My chest is pretty sore as well. I am also tired and feeling really worn down. I am also having some symptoms that I wont mention here, but they are pretty convincing as well.

Today I took Breckin outside to swing and get the mail and the heat was really getting to me. I got dizzy and thought I was going to faint. I had to drag a kicking and screaming toddler into the house. He keeps asking "Outside?"

Well, I test Wednesday after we put Breckin to bed. I will update then...

About 6 Days Past Ovulation

Today we are about 6 days past ovulation. We plan on testing at 10 DPO (Wednesday). Normally implantations happens between 6-10 DPO. That would be about the time symptoms start. I have been good at not analyzing every little thing so far, but I bet the next few days turn me into a crazy woman. In that last day or so I have had a few pretty convincing symptoms that have since stopped, so who knows. I guess only a test will tell.

Update: July 9th

This has been stressful week. On Friday I took Breckin to his follow-up GI appointment. They found hidden blood in his stool and sent us straight to the hospital for x-rays. We found out that he had a great deal of stool sitting in his colon. They put him on a colon cleanse for the next 4 weeks. If they find more blood after the 4 weeks he will have to get a colonoscopy. I am scared to death and am hoping with everything I have that they don't find blood.

Well, I have had very positive OPKs the last two days (Friday and Saturday). The first positive suggested that I would be ovulating today (Saturday) but with all of the stress from Friday I think my ovulation was delayed a day.

Trying to Conceive Rollercoaster

I am hitting an emotional slump. I don't know what is wrong with me. On cycle day 1 it really hit me that I could be pregnant by the end of the month and I really felt like I WOULD be. Now, on cycle day 9, days before I will actually ovulate, I am feeling like it's not going to happen for us this month. I really wish this slump would end. I don't expect to ovulate for another 4-7 days. Maybe my hormones will shift and I will feel confident again.

I've been staying distracted this cycle, so I do not become obsessive about the baby stuff. Kevin and I decided to go ahead and start working towards our farm. We plan on building the barn and coup in the next 6 months, getting the chickens next spring and getting the goats sometime between Feb-May of 2013. Kevin is building the chicken coup and doing all of the fencing himself, so I doubt he would be able to have everything done before the next breeding season for goats. We also plan on having a huge garden (that Kevin will fence off). We want to be as self-sustaining as possible in the next 5 years.