This is horrible

Maybe I ovulated late since the day I was supposed to be ovulating we had all the drama with Breckin at the GI doctor. I don't know... I shouldn't get my hopes up. I am still cramping... badly at times and mostly in the last 3 or 4 days. These are not cramps that I normally get around my period. I have also had slight waves of nausea.

I'm not testing again until Monday and I am 100% expecting another negative test. I just wish my body would stop playing these games with me and would let me just feel normal if I'm not pregnant. And if my period is going to show I wish it would just do it now so I can start trying again. This is torture. I can't even describe how I feel...

12 Days Past Ovulation

Another negative pregnancy test.

This doesn't look good for a chances this month. I tested first thing this morning... negative. Then I tested again this afternoon because "something was telling me to"... negative.

I'm assuming this is it for us this month. I am going to start looking forward to the next cycle. Hopefully we will have better luck... I am trying to be positive but I scared this is the start to a bad trend.

These tricks are not funny....

Well, I guess my body was tricking me... I took a pregnancy test yesterday and it came up negative. I was only 10 days past ovulation, which is still early, but I can't help but feel that I would have had SOME sort of positive yesterday if I was actually pregnant. I plan to test again tomorrow first thing in the morning (12 DPO). If it's negative, which I suspect it will be, I wont test anymore this cycle. This cycle is due to end Sunday or Monday.

I'm feeling really beat up... this has been a rough month.

Soooooo

So, either I am pregnant or my brain is playing some MAJOR tricks on me. I keep thinking "I don't even need a test. I already know I'm pregnant." Oh my, I really hope I'm not setting myself up for a HUGE disappointment.

My lower abdomen has been cramping the last few days and today the cramps have gotten pretty sharp. My abdomen has also been very sensitive. I am very uncomfortable with my pants' button against my stomach. I remember this from when I was pregnant with Breckin. I was using my bella band by around 9 weeks because pants were so uncomfortable. The question is... do I normally feel this way at this point in my cycle and I am just more sensitive to it now?

My chest is pretty sore as well. I am also tired and feeling really worn down. I am also having some symptoms that I wont mention here, but they are pretty convincing as well.

Today I took Breckin outside to swing and get the mail and the heat was really getting to me. I got dizzy and thought I was going to faint. I had to drag a kicking and screaming toddler into the house. He keeps asking "Outside?"

Well, I test Wednesday after we put Breckin to bed. I will update then...

About 6 Days Past Ovulation

Today we are about 6 days past ovulation. We plan on testing at 10 DPO (Wednesday). Normally implantations happens between 6-10 DPO. That would be about the time symptoms start. I have been good at not analyzing every little thing so far, but I bet the next few days turn me into a crazy woman. In that last day or so I have had a few pretty convincing symptoms that have since stopped, so who knows. I guess only a test will tell.

Update: July 9th

This has been stressful week. On Friday I took Breckin to his follow-up GI appointment. They found hidden blood in his stool and sent us straight to the hospital for x-rays. We found out that he had a great deal of stool sitting in his colon. They put him on a colon cleanse for the next 4 weeks. If they find more blood after the 4 weeks he will have to get a colonoscopy. I am scared to death and am hoping with everything I have that they don't find blood.

Well, I have had very positive OPKs the last two days (Friday and Saturday). The first positive suggested that I would be ovulating today (Saturday) but with all of the stress from Friday I think my ovulation was delayed a day.

Trying to Conceive Rollercoaster

I am hitting an emotional slump. I don't know what is wrong with me. On cycle day 1 it really hit me that I could be pregnant by the end of the month and I really felt like I WOULD be. Now, on cycle day 9, days before I will actually ovulate, I am feeling like it's not going to happen for us this month. I really wish this slump would end. I don't expect to ovulate for another 4-7 days. Maybe my hormones will shift and I will feel confident again.

I've been staying distracted this cycle, so I do not become obsessive about the baby stuff. Kevin and I decided to go ahead and start working towards our farm. We plan on building the barn and coup in the next 6 months, getting the chickens next spring and getting the goats sometime between Feb-May of 2013. Kevin is building the chicken coup and doing all of the fencing himself, so I doubt he would be able to have everything done before the next breeding season for goats. We also plan on having a huge garden (that Kevin will fence off). We want to be as self-sustaining as possible in the next 5 years.